Tuesday, February 19, 2008



"Why, if a fish came to me, and told me he was going on a journey, I should say,
'With what porpoise?' " "Don't you mean 'purpose'?" said Alice. "I mean what I
say," the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.

We may as well get this out into the open right away. Don't pin your hopes on a
Virgo man if your heart is hungry for romantic dreams and fairy tales, or you'll find
yourself on a starvation diet. A love affair with a Virgo will dump a warm

sentimentalist on the cold ground with a hard thud, and it can hurt.

This man lives almost entirely on a practical, material level, and he has little use for
the abstractions of storybook romance. Of course, the whole problem may be
academic anyway, since it will take no little effort to bring him anywhere near the
threshold of a man-woman relationship in the first place. He's not the type to
serenade you beneath your boudoir window. You'll have a long, lonely wait on your
moonlit balcony until he starts climbing the rose trellis (or the fire escape, if you
live in a walk-up).

Actually, Virgos are deeply involved with love from earliest childhood, but not the
Romeo-Juliet kind of love. His chief way of expressing the word is concerned with
unselfish devotion to family, friends and those weaker or more disorganized than
himself. He was born with an instinctive love of work, love of duty and discipline
and devotion to the helpless. Even the unevolved Virgo, ,who doesn't quite reach
such heights, feels slightly guilty that he isn't living up to a selfless ideal in some

The kind of love which displays itself in dramatic emotions, sentimental promises,
tearful declarations and mushy affection, not only leaves a Virgo man cold, it can
frighten him into catching the nearest bus or train out of town. (Planes are too fast
and too expensive for him, unless he's really desperate.) But he can be melted if the
temperature is just right, even though he seems to be made of a combination of steel
and ice. There are definitely ways to the Virgo heart. Secret ways. Aggressive
pursuit is not one of them. Neither is coquetry nor sexuality, as many a flirtatious
vamp and slinky siren has learned, to her surprise and disappointment.

Virgos seek quality rather than quantity in romance. Since quality is at pretty much
of a premium in any category, they have few real love affairs, and the few they do
have are destined to be unlucky or sad in some way, more often than not. Virgo's
reaction to such a disappointment is normally to bury himself in the hardest work he
can find, stay away from society in general, and be twice as cautious at the next
opportunity. You can see that you'll have to use considerable strategy and patience.
The basic Virginian instinct is chastity, and he's turned from it only for a good cause
or for a mighty good woman. Many Virgos-though admittedly not all-can live with
celibacy far more easily than any other Sun sign, just as they put up with rules of
discipline they don't understand, because obedience to fate without struggling comes
naturally to them. If fate decrees a single life, Virgo is prepared to accept it without
excess regret or emotional trauma, so there are lots of Virgo bachelors around-but
still, in their quiet way, they can manage some very poetic, if fragile, love affairs.

Although he's never obvious, Virgo can be a master of the art of subtle seduction. A
couple of generations of women who have trembled inside when a certain French-
man smiles his shy, gentle smile can tell you all about it. Maurice Chevalier didn't
become a legend because he has a singing voice like Caruso, you know. He may not
be of my generation, but I too get butterflies in the heart region when I see or hear


The Virgo man is a blend of sharp intellect and solid earth. He can be detached
enough to break lots of hearts with a cool kind of flirting, but his critical analytical
sense and his fastidious discrimination seldom allow these frequent excursions to
leave the platonic arena. It has to burn with a white heat to produce real passion in a
Virgo. His modesty and selectivity alone prevent undue promiscuity. Of course,
there may be an occasional fall into an earthy, physical experience, but such
indiscretions are the exception, rather than the rule. The rule is aloof interest. I know
pne Virgo man who accepted a part in one of those really raw "for adults only"
films, but he did it strictly for the cash-he was flat broke at the time-and he still
blushes when anyone mentions it. Naturally, a man is a man, and not all Virgo:
remain technical virgins, but they do always emain puu in outlool-. There's
invariably something clean ind chaste about Virgo love, which is never allowed to
become soiled--cven in the midst of passion- -no matter vhat unfortunate events
may give the outward appearance pf casualties^.

He'll take his own precious time about finding a love object, because he's as critical
and painstaking in the selection of a woman as he is in his eating, grooming, health
[and work habits. Don't try to fool him or lie to him. Your jvirgo lover holds no
illusions. He wants a decent, honest (and genuine relationship. He knows very well
how small |his chances are of finding it, but it's useless to expect him |to accept
anything less. If circumstances ever do involve |him in a sordid affair, you can be
certain he won't remain |in its clutches for long.

| He is a difficult man to stir emotionally. He can go for |a long time without feeling
any burning need for a perma-Inent mate. It's enough to make you cry if you've set
your | cap for him. You'll wonder if he's made of marble or if he |was born without a
heart. No, he isn't made of marble |and yes, he does have a heart. Be patient. To her
who (waits comes eventual success.

| Now and then a curious, frustrated Virgo may try a | fling at deliberate
promiscuous behavior, simply to see if |he's lacking in masculinity. He's not, of
course, and as | soon as he discovers it, he seeks no more artificial expe-|riences to
prove himself. No cool, clear and collected Virgo can be immune to the call of
human nature fotever, but once he does succumb, hell be shy about admitting it.
When he's on the threshold of submission, he'll cover his true feelings with
elaborate casualness. There is more than a spark of subdued, but extremely refined
acting talent in Virgo. He will pretend to be disinterested as cleverly as he pretends
to be ill when he's not enjoying himself at a party. Don't expect him to respond with
any great display of ecstatic surrender even after he's committed, and while he's still
deciding if you're really the one for whom he'll forsake his single state, he'll play it
mighty cool, indeed.

Once he's decided it's for real, however, he'll declare himself with touching
simplicity. His love will burn with a steady flame, never fluctuating like the love of
other Sun signs, and it will give warmth over the years with wonderful

dependability. Is that so bad? The one quality of fairy tale romance about Virgo is
that, if he's genuinely in love, he will wait for years to claim his true mate, or travel
over a thousand mountains to bring her home to his hearth. He's capable of
enormous sacrifice in the pursuit of that one dainty foot he's discovered will fit the
glass slipper. There's no denying that the flame is strong, once it's been kindled. It's
almost impossible to extinguish it. You'll be as eternally adored as Cinderella
herself. The trick, I suppose, is in the •original kindling. It's a rare foot that fits his
glass slipper. Virgo is enormously particular.

After you've caught him, hell seldom if ever invite your jealousy, and he'll be
determined to overcome any rough spots caused by financial problems, relatives or
outside interference. He'll show incredible strength through emotional and material
hardships, as long as you remain by his side. You couldn't ask for a more tender,
gentle companion when your heart is broken for any reason by a cruel world or
when you're physically ill. He won't shower you with money, but you'll be well
supplied with necessities, and he will shower you with consideration.

A Virgo man is invariably kindly and thoughtful about all those little things which
matter to women. He has a crystal clear memory and probably won't forget special
dates, though he may be a bit mystified as to why you think they are so important.
He won't be wildly, passionately jealous, yet Virgo males are possessive in the
extreme. This sounds like a fine line to draw, but it's important. Even though he
doesn't throw emotional scenes of jealousy over the attentions other men pay you,
his deeply rooted pos-sessiveness should warn you that a little freedom goes a long
way. The wife of a Virgo who wanders too far away from the home fires too often
may find herself without a husband to return to. Virgos are utterly loyal and they
dislike destroying family ties intensely, but when their sense of decency has been
finally outraged they won't hesitate to make a cold, clean break in the divorce court.
No messy, complicated trial separations for them. When it's over, it's over. Goodbye
and good luck. Even the Virgo's sharp, unusually excellent memory won't cause him
to cry sentimental tears over the past, simply because he's able to discipline his
memory as firmly as he does his emotions. Self-discipline is part of his very nature.
The Virgo man with his mind made up moves on-and having moved on, all your
tears and apologies are useless in getting him to change his mind. He'll never fall
victim to the illusion that gluing together the broken pieces will recreate perfection
in what has once been seriously flawed.

If your heart is set on a Virgo man, you'd better brush up your thinking cap and
wear it when he's around. Virgos hate ignorance, stupidity and sloppy thinking
almost as much as they hate dirt and vulgarity, and that's a lot. The girl who snares
the Virgo heart had better be smartly dressed with a sizable brain under her neat hair
style-and you'll notice I said neat hair style. Virgos look for women who are clean
in body and mind, and who dress well, but not in flashy extremes of fashion.

You won't have to be Julia Child, but for goodness sakes, don't ever be naive
enough to think a Virgo husband will let you feed him out of cans. A pleasure-
seeking, selfish, mentally lazy woman will never make it with a Virgo male, even if

she's fairly oozing with sex appeal. This is the very last man in the world you can
expect to find running off with a topless Go-Go girl, though he might loan her his
sweater if she's chilly. When it comes right down to the nitty gritty, he's looking for
a wife-not a mistress in any sense of the word.

Virgo men have no strong yearning for fatherhood, as a rule. Their particular kind
of ego doesn't seem to require children for emotional fulfillment, and Virgos tend to
have small families. Yet, once a child or children have been born, the Virgo is an
extremely conscientious parent, and will never take his responsibilities lightly. Hell
spend many hours teaching his youngsters skills and transmitting hia own high
standards of conduct. He'll be cheerfully willing to help with homework and will
probably make no end of sacrifices for hobbies, music lessons, camp and especially
college. A Virgo father will place great emphasis on intellect and train his children
rigidly in matters of ethics, courtesy and good citizenship. Even the divorced Virgo
will eventually see to it somehow that his offspring are well ared for, wherever they
may be, and that they get an edu-ation. Children of Virgo fathers usually grow up
with both love and respect for books and learning. You'll seldom find a
Virgo""parent spoiling a child, and there will always be plenty of necessary
discipline. All this is fine, but there may be a need for more physical expressions of
love between a Virgo father and his youngsters, since affection is not something that
comes naturally to him. Unless a serious effort is made in this area from babyhood
on, there's more than a small chance that he'll one day discover an insurmountable
barrier has grown between him and the offspring he loves so deeply. There's also a
tendency to be too critical, to expect too much too soon and be too strict.

A Virgo will expect you to fuss a bit over his health, but hell wait on you when
you're sick, too, and allow you to be a regular Camille. He may have his cranky and
moody spells now and then, perhaps even frequently. But one thing is sure. If you
leave him alone, he won't go out of his way to start an argument with you. Just let
him get over his grumpiness and he'll surprise you with tenderness to make up for it.
Let him worry. It's good for him, sort of a Virgo mental exercise. But when you see
it's affecting his physical state, snap him out of it by suggesting something
interesting or different to do. It isn't hard to catch the mental attention of a Virgo,
though it may be hard to keep it.

Now that you know what you're in for, if you're still in love with that Virgo man,
you can look forward io a pretty contented future. You'll have a husband who's alert
and well-informed, who won't expect you to wait on him hand and foot or expect
you to run around looking sexy all the time with a dab of perfume behind each ear
and a rose in your teeth. (Although he may expect you to go around with a cake of
soap in each hand.)

Hell be reliable and pleasant, if you're tactful about his faults. He won't have many
of them anyway-unless you call the way he runs his finger across the furniture every
night, looking for dust, a fault. Little habits like that. No matter what he does, try
not to nag him. Remember, he's not constituted to be able to take the critical
analysis he applies to others. Get used to his habit of criticizing you, and laugh it off

with the realization that he can't help being such a sensitive hairsplitter. Once that
resentment is out of the way, you can relax, and really enjoy your bright, loyal
Virgo. He's not an angel. There are no wings sprouting on his shoulders. But lots of
wives will be jealous of you.

After all, how many women are married to a hardworking, handsome man who's
neat and tidy around the house, who remembers anniversaries and performs
miracles with the checkbook? How many wives have a smart husband who dresses
well, seldom goes out with the boys or makes passes at other women, and is usually
gentle and considerate? Look closely again. Is that just the reflection of the street
lights around his head, or could it be . . . ? No, it couldn't possibly be a halo. Not
after the way he snapped at you when you spilled the buttered popcorn in his lap at
the theater tonight. Of course not. That cranky character? Still, there is a kind of an
aura. And when he smiles-and you can see yourself in his clear eyes-well, he'll do
until someone with real wings comes along.